I can't be bothered anymore. I just cant be bothered doing what I'm supposed to be doing, i cant be bothered typing up useless posts people most probably don't read and i just cant be bothered pretending i care anymore. Its not that I'm feeling lethargic, the thing is, i just don't feel at all anymore. I'm numb. I cant feel, i can't express. I'm in some trance like state and i want to get out of it. I want something to happen, i want my life to change, but how do i make it so?
Starting college was meant to be starting over, a brand new leaf. It's been anything but that. I feel so zombie like and depressed, nothing is right. Nothing feels like it should feel like. I know i make no sense at all, but i really don't care. All these weird feelings didn't just come out of no where, they've been around for a while, I'm just venting it out here. Going back to Australia was the best thing in such a long time. Breathing the fresh air, drinking the fresh water and being back with people i haven't seen in over 3 years, it was simply the best. I miss it so much and i just want to move back there again regardless of all the people i love that are here, i just want to go back there. Ever since we came back to Malaysia, I've been feeling so down and alone and i hate it. I don't know what to do with myself or what to do full stop. I may be over-exaggerating my feelings, but hey who am i kidding but myself in the end of the day.
2 comments:
this is natural, i suppose. you pine so much hope of change in college, and the excitement dies down. don't worry, everyone has a bad first semester. come you first holidays, you'll get the hang of it! :)
aww hunnay, enjoy your time here, yeah it may not be the awesomest place ever but you have people that love you heck loads and the boy with the hair and whats his name and just yeah have as much fun as you can in college regardless of it not having been what you expected it to be and be happy and you'll be going back to australia in no time :) just smile and laugh and be happy! love youuus.
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